“And I’ll have the IPA” I told our waiter as we basked lazily in the sun like lizards sprawled out on a hot rock. “Very good sir, and to eat?” the waiter asked as he distractedly tapped on his tablet computer. “Oh, nothing. Just the drinks will be fine”, I said, handing him my menu. His expression changed suddenly “Uh, no I’m afraid that’s not allowed.”, he said. “It is illegal to consume alcohol outside unless accompanied by a meal”. “What? Seriously? That’s stupid.” I protested in disbelief. After several minutes of trying to get him to budge I ordered a plate of chips, livid that such an intrusive law should exist and that people were foolish enough to enforce it.
“Hey!” the cyclist at the traffic lights said “Where’s your helmet? You have to, like, protect your brain. Safety first!”. I would have told him to mind his own, but the lights had changed and the twenty-something-year-old man sped off on his expensive-looking, ultra-light racing bike, head crouched down, his arse perched high up on the bicycle seat at the level of his shoulders to give him maximal aerodynamic efficiency. “It would take more than a helmet to save you if you crash at that speed on that flimsy thing, son” I said out loud to the vacant space around me.
“This is wonderful” I said to my companion, interrupting the tranquil sounds of the waves around our feet and the occasional splash of our paddles hitting the gently moving water. The green river banks around me and the hot sun on my head told me that this was the height of summer. Hard to imagine the water below the gently rocking board I was standing on was so recently a hard block of ice, several centimeters thick. A drop of sweat gained critical mass, and quickly slid down my brow. It was hot, particularly under the thick, insulating material of the bright yellow lifejacket I was forced to wear.
It is maybe natural to think that health and safety are ultimate goods and that measures that improve them are incontrovertible, but at what cost do these measures come? More signs, more fences, more rules. Less freedom. Nobody but myself is responsible for my own health and safety. I expect to be protected from others, but let me get myself into as much trouble as I feel I can handle. It is wrong to delegate this important responsibility to others, besides, they can never do as good a job for others as one can do for oneself.
Build a wall around every river, round every sharp edge, remind us clearly that danger is everywhere. A man warned is half armed, let nothing that is not food be left unlabelled “DO NOT EAT”. What’s that man running for? He might trip! See the stupid smile on his face? There! He jumped! Stop him before he does it again!
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| Why do people hate fun? |
